I was still collecting my pieces when I met you. I was not ready to start something new. My heart was barely beating. I was learning to breathe again. I was learning to love myself again and trying to get my life back on track. I didn’t expect you to cross my path.
I am used to be hurt and disappointed, so you came like a shock. You brought happiness into my life, and it felt amazing. I had never felt anything like it before. You have always been open and honest, and I never needed to work hard to decode jumbled signs as I did in the past.
For the first time, I had something true and real. I had someone who knew how to love. But I was still guarded, I was broken, so I tried to slow us down. I was afraid that the sparkling love would burn out even faster. I was worried you would be the same as him. I was full of doubt about the relationship we were trying to create.
I wanted you to know everything about me. I still hadn’t found a way to let go of my past. My past did not allow me to enjoy my present. The pain I carried with me continued to mix with happiness, and I was so lost. And once more, you left me speechless.
You hugged me for so long and so hard until I started to feel safe in your embrace. I really needed that. I needed someone who actually cared for me. But don’t think you were there to fill the void left by someone else. You were like an angel sent from heaven standing beside me until I was strong enough to fill that void myself.
I had to fight my insecurity. I had to deal with trust issues created by someone else and stop doubting you for no reason. I had to find myself first, and then enjoy in love given by you.